Itch
I've got an itch
On one of my inner thighs
I suppose it might be sexy
If you were into older guys*
May 13, 2016
Creep
There was this a young boy
Coming down the subway stairs
Holding a plastic T-Rex
Asking his mom if all dinosaurs were carnivores
And his mom said no, some dinosaurs were herbivores;
They eat plants and vegetables.
"But T-Rex eats people?," He asked
And she said yes.
And because I'm such a busybody fucking smartass,
I wanted to point out that there were no people
When T-Rex was around,
Unless you happen to favor a very expansive definition of the word people,
Which, who knows, maybe she did,
But the forecast called for rain today,
So there I was,
An old man in a rain coat,
I wasn't about to butt in
And run the risk of coming off like a creep.
So that poor child
Will have to live in fear of people being eaten by dinosaurs
Because I didn't want to feel like a creep.
But of course, I feel like a creep anyway.
May 13, 2016
Bus
Being on a cross town bus
Is like being stuck inside
An enormous, round, turd
Too heavy
To move
More than a few hundred feet
Every few minutes.
A fucking glacier
Made of shit
That never
Fucking
Moves.
May 8, 2016
*This could be a verse for a song if I wasn't such a lazy piece of shit.
<3
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