Thursday, December 10, 2015

Poem, With Five Notes

I kind of think it might be nice to have tits.

Like so then, if I'm in bed with a woman, we could suck each other's tits.
That sounds kind of nice.
I think that would be hot.
But it's a slippery slope, I would think: Next I'd probably want long hair and make up and then I'd probably want most of my body hair removed and then, before you know it, I'd want a vagina, and I assume that would mean I wouldn't have a cock anymore, and that would mean that instead of fucking women in the vagina with my cock, I'd be getting fucked in my vagina, with a strap on, because I like women, and even if I had a vagina, I would still want to be fucked by women, not men, which maybe is closed minded of me but there it is.

So probably I shouldn't get tits.
So probably I should stop eating so fucking much,  else I'm gonna get tits.
December 9, 2015

Notes (written December 10, 2015)

Note 1: This poem was inspired by an ad I saw in the subway for breast augmentation surgery. Someone had placed a sticker on the ad which said, "This ad insults women." My first thought was, "Well, couldn't men get breast augmentation surgery, too?" I had six local stops in which to write the poem, which may explain its brevity.

Note 2: For the record though, I do see how ads for breast augmentation surgery insult women. And I suppose this poem could be misconstrued as an insult to women, although that is not my intention. See Note 3.

Note 3: But I do recognize a problem: this poem clearly should be called "Tits." But I don't necessarily like the idea of me having written a poem called "Tits." The Stranglers are one of my favorite bands, but it bothers me that they have a song called "Tits." I don't know the song all that well; it could be perfectly innocuous (as I believe my poem is), but I don't know.

Note 4: I am under no misapprehension that these notes in any way mitigate any offense that may have been caused by my poem. Nor do I believe that I have exonerated myself from the charge of having given offense by acknowledging that I may have caused offense. But I don't believe there is anything offensive or malicious in this poem.

Note 5: Finally, it should be noted that if I were to read this poem in public, I would probably not read these notes, and I probably would say, before reading it, "This poem is called 'Tits'."

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Six Lost Opportunities

It would be alliterative to say
I had the leftover lo mien for lunch
But I had it for breakfast.

With some editing
"I" could have been a haiku
"II" could have been too. Too bad.

This morning, I thought:
On the way to work, I will look for inspiration in the subway
And had I actually looked, I might have found some.
We maybe could have had, at some point,
A government that truly serves its people
Instead of this.

And don't even get me started
On renewable energy
I mean, come on. Am I right?

Ok, clearly, I've gone astray
It's time to let go and post
Actually, it's well past time.

December 2, 2015