Wednesday, February 22, 2017

"If I Were a Lump of Excrement in the Bowels of President Trump" with second version

If I Were a Lump of Excrement in the Bowels of President Trump

If I were a lump of excrement
In the bowels of President Trump
I would not rest until I was expelled.

Like attracts like, they sometimes say,
So one might assume,
If I were a piece of shit i‎nside the piece of shit president,
That I might like to stay there.
But I don't think I would.

I think I would be like,
There is shit and then there is shit,
And this Trump shit- I would want no part of it:
Let me out‎, I would scream
Let me swim freely in the sewers!

But what price freedom?
Wouldn't the other waste products shun me?
I wouldn't blame them
There is shit and there is shit.
‎And I would be shit's shit.

The vast majority of shit expelled by Americans
Wa‎s expelled  by Americans who either voted against the shit that shitted me
Or did not vote at all
So I would either have to hang
With shit that would reject me and isolate me
Or I would have to hang out with the shit
That was expelled by assholes who voted
For the shit that shitted me

Fuck that shit
I would rather be alone.

So I am glad I am not literally a waste product in the bowels of Trump
But I am saddened that sometimes it seems as though I am.

February 20, 2017

Second version:*

If I were a lump of excrement
In the bowels of President Trump
I would not rest until I was expelled.

Like attracts like, they sometimes say,
So one might assume,
If I were a piece of poop i‎nside the piece of poop president,
That I might like to stay there.
But I don't think I would.

I think I would be like,
There is poop and then there is poop,
And this Trump poop- I would want no part of it:
Let me out‎, I would scream
Let me swim freely in the sewers!

But what price freedom?
I wonder: wouldn't the other waste products shun me?
I wouldn't blame them
There is poop  and there is poop.
‎And I would be poop's poop.

‎The vast majority of poop expelled by Americans
Wa‎s expelled  by Americans who either voted against the poop that pooped me
Or did not vote at all
So I would either have to hang out
With poop that would reject me and isolate me
Or I would have to hang out with the poop
That was expelled by buttholes who voted
For the poop that pooped me

Poop on that poop.
I would rather be alone.

So I am glad I am not literally a waste product in the bowels of Trump
But I am saddened that sometimes it seems as though I am.

rev. 2.22.2017

* The second version was composed after telling my ten year old about the first version, and being disinclined to read it to her as it was.

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