If I Were a Lump of Excrement in the Bowels of President Trump
If I were a lump of excrement
In the bowels of President Trump
I would not rest until I was expelled.
Like attracts like, they sometimes say,
So one might assume,
If I were a piece of shit inside the piece of shit president,
That I might like to stay there.
But I don't think I would.
I think I would be like,
There is shit and then there is shit,
And this Trump shit- I would want no part of it:
Let me out, I would scream
Let me swim freely in the sewers!
But what price freedom?
Wouldn't the other waste products shun me?
I wouldn't blame them
There is shit and there is shit.
And I would be shit's shit.
The vast majority of shit expelled by Americans
Was expelled by Americans who either voted against the shit that shitted me
Or did not vote at all
So I would either have to hang
With shit that would reject me and isolate me
Or I would have to hang out with the shit
That was expelled by assholes who voted
For the shit that shitted me
Fuck that shit
I would rather be alone.
So I am glad I am not literally a waste product in the bowels of Trump
But I am saddened that sometimes it seems as though I am.
February 20, 2017
Second version:*
If I were a lump of excrement
In the bowels of President Trump
I would not rest until I was expelled.
Like attracts like, they sometimes say,
So one might assume,
If I were a piece of poop inside the piece of poop president,
That I might like to stay there.
But I don't think I would.
I think I would be like,
There is poop and then there is poop,
And this Trump poop- I would want no part of it:
Let me out, I would scream
Let me swim freely in the sewers!
But what price freedom?
I wonder: wouldn't the other waste products shun me?
I wouldn't blame them
There is poop and there is poop.
And I would be poop's poop.
The vast majority of poop expelled by Americans
Was expelled by Americans who either voted against the poop that pooped me
Or did not vote at all
So I would either have to hang out
With poop that would reject me and isolate me
Or I would have to hang out with the poop
That was expelled by buttholes who voted
For the poop that pooped me
Poop on that poop.
I would rather be alone.
So I am glad I am not literally a waste product in the bowels of Trump
But I am saddened that sometimes it seems as though I am.
rev. 2.22.2017
* The second version was composed after telling my ten year old about the first version, and being disinclined to read it to her as it was.
Fond memories of the single big hit from AfroMan and I get why he's angry. I'm afraid of him running in the next presidential run. Sounds idiotic, but I remember 2016. If he takes enough votes...hopeful someone helps him countersue the Adam's County police department and he drops running for president.
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